Tag Archive | muffin top

Medium Rise Jeans – What Was I Thinking!

I am in the change room of the jeans shop. They look good these medium-rise jeans. They are three-quarter length and give my legs a slim shape. As I am 150 cm or 5 foot tall, I can wear them as full-length jeans. Fantastic – I do not have to take them up. There is only a small muffin shape at my hips. No problem – my tops will cover that. The jeans do not hide all my vertical caesarian scar but my tops should easily cover that challenge. Price is right. I bought two pairs. Feeling pleased with myself as they are just perfect for the holiday we planned.

Thought I was on to a winner here – something trendy I could share with my clients.

Alas! What was I thinking!

Now the reality when my vanity lost the fight.

I forgot. Denim gets softer and looser with use and wear. The medium-rise jeans slip down at the front but not at the back. Why do they stay firm over my bottom but not over my tummy? As the jeans fall down in the front, my tops do not cover the gap and my scar shows. I am constantly pulling up the jeans and pulling down my tops. I am waiting for my husband to ask – why are you always hitching up those jeans?  – or maybe something worse.

I also forgot that the smooth fitting tops I wear over my jeans ride up as I walk. So now there is even more tummy and scar exposed every time I move. I need a belt.

These medium-rise jeans that fit snugly over my bottom and back when standing, gape at the back when I sit down. It is okay if the back of the chair is covered but not good if it is not. Suddenly my tops do not cover this bare skin at the back. I bought these jeans for a holiday in a cold climate. I am getting colder that I thought in unexpected body parts. One good point – I am not exposing my g-string because I do not wear one. Well only on special occasions which I will not explain here.

Lastly, there was my pride in my tiny muffin top. That has now gone. Standing in the change room, I forgot that life involves a lot of sitting down. Where did that new muffin top come from? Every time I sit down, I see and feel not a tiny but a big muffin top. Oops! Vanity has disappeared. Meanwhile, every time I sit down, the denim stretches and the jeans fall down even more when I stand up. I am doing Groundhog Day with the same problems over and over again.

What was I thinking when I bought those medium-rise jeans!

Okay. I still love the jeans. Maybe I will buy a belt but I am not sure that will work. What if I buy some men’s braces to hold them up? No! Individuality is one thing. Looking just plain silly is another.

The things I do to teach others.

My modern dressing tip for women over 40 – If there is a seat or bench in the change room, use it to test out any hipster clothes before you buy.

You have been warned.

(Article sent to subscribers of The Fashion Translator eZine’ on 6 April 2010. Click here to sign up for The Fashion Translator eZine.)


Miracle Jeans – Are they all Hype?

Miracle jeans – body-sculpting without the pain of plastic surgery. Flatten your tummy, lift your butt, and shape your legs. Do they deliver or is it a topic for the advertising experts on ‘The Gruen Transfer’ to de-mystify?

Here’s some tips to help you choose the best jeans for you.

Style & Size

There are so many brands and styles out there that my best tip is to ask the shop assistant what they suggest for you. If no shop assistant is handy, be adventurous. It cost nothing but time to try on lots of styles. The ‘bootleg’ style with tapered fit and a slight flare below the knees is a classic style that suits all women. Straight leg jeans (with no flare) are also universally flattering. My jag jeans are called ‘slim ankle grazers’. Even after I have cut centimetres off them, they are slim-fitting at my ankles. Just make sure the jeans are ‘high rise’ or you will have the dreaded muffin top.

Here’s a tip. Find a pair of your jeans that you love. Measure them width-wise at the knees and ankles and take other jeans in at the side seams to create your best shape.

Size-wise, Corfu jeans and some Jag jeans have intermediate sizes eg 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 etc. this give you more chance of finding the perfect waist fit. Otherwise try on at least two sizes in new jeans because sizing varies. It’s not the number, it’s the fit.

Non-surgical Lift & Slim

Jeans material needs to have some stretch in it for comfort and fit. Today, jeans are made of all sorts of miracle fabrics for lifting and flattening. Generally, the most effective materials cost the most but not always. I tried on one brand advertising a miracle tummy slimming panel to find that someone had an overactive imagination. It doesn’t hurt to try them on. Look for visible results on you and ignore the advertising hype.

Check that you can bend, squat and sit in them without pain. Some salespeople will tell you that you are better off in jeans that zip up tight at the waist as they will stretch as you wear them. That’s fine but if the first hour is uncomfortable and zipping them up is always a challenge, they will sit in the back of your cupboard, unworn.

Does my Bum look Big in These?

It is easy when trying on jeans to only look at your front and side view. Rear pockets can make or break your look.

What to look for in pockets? First the stitching colour. The more the stitching colour blends with your jeans colour, the less obvious the pockets are and the smoother your bottom shape. Got a pert bottom? Let the stitching pattern and colour draw attention to a ‘Kylie Monogue’ bottom. The best pockets are on an angle and do not go below the courve of your bottom. Any lower gives you a bigger bottom or a ‘daggy look’.

PS:  Don’t keep old jeans because you hope to fit into them again one day. Jeans are always evolving and new styles and brands are much more flattering than old styles.


(Article sent to readers of ‘The Fashion Translator’ ezine on 19 August 2011. Click here to sign up for the ezine.)