I am in the change room of the jeans shop. They look good these medium-rise jeans. They are three-quarter length and give my legs a slim shape. As I am 150 cm or 5 foot tall, I can wear them as full-length jeans. Fantastic – I do not have to take them up. There is only a small muffin shape at my hips. No problem – my tops will cover that. The jeans do not hide all my vertical caesarian scar but my tops should easily cover that challenge. Price is right. I bought two pairs. Feeling pleased with myself as they are just perfect for the holiday we planned.
Thought I was on to a winner here – something trendy I could share with my clients.
Alas! What was I thinking!
Now the reality when my vanity lost the fight.
I forgot. Denim gets softer and looser with use and wear. The medium-rise jeans slip down at the front but not at the back. Why do they stay firm over my bottom but not over my tummy? As the jeans fall down in the front, my tops do not cover the gap and my scar shows. I am constantly pulling up the jeans and pulling down my tops. I am waiting for my husband to ask – why are you always hitching up those jeans? – or maybe something worse.
I also forgot that the smooth fitting tops I wear over my jeans ride up as I walk. So now there is even more tummy and scar exposed every time I move. I need a belt.
These medium-rise jeans that fit snugly over my bottom and back when standing, gape at the back when I sit down. It is okay if the back of the chair is covered but not good if it is not. Suddenly my tops do not cover this bare skin at the back. I bought these jeans for a holiday in a cold climate. I am getting colder that I thought in unexpected body parts. One good point – I am not exposing my g-string because I do not wear one. Well only on special occasions which I will not explain here.
Lastly, there was my pride in my tiny muffin top. That has now gone. Standing in the change room, I forgot that life involves a lot of sitting down. Where did that new muffin top come from? Every time I sit down, I see and feel not a tiny but a big muffin top. Oops! Vanity has disappeared. Meanwhile, every time I sit down, the denim stretches and the jeans fall down even more when I stand up. I am doing Groundhog Day with the same problems over and over again.
What was I thinking when I bought those medium-rise jeans!
Okay. I still love the jeans. Maybe I will buy a belt but I am not sure that will work. What if I buy some men’s braces to hold them up? No! Individuality is one thing. Looking just plain silly is another.
The things I do to teach others.
My modern dressing tip for women over 40 – If there is a seat or bench in the change room, use it to test out any hipster clothes before you buy.
You have been warned.
(Article sent to subscribers of The Fashion Translator eZine’ on 6 April 2010. Click here to sign up for The Fashion Translator eZine.)